Rach,


Two in one day, I guess I just have a lot to say. No rhyme intended, honest. I'm pretty sure that I've got carpal tunnel, or I will soon. I haven't stopped typing since we broke up. I'm either writing or trying to explain to people, as unbiased as possible, what happened between us and why I still have some faint traces of hope that we might be together one day. Maybe not even "together" together, but in each others lives. I miss so many things about you. Every song I hear, every road I drive on, every dream I have, and even the foods I eat (meals are few and far between, nothing tastes right anymore) remind me of you. Maybe this part of a typical breakup, not that there was ever anything typical or normal about us or our relationship, but I think that's what made us good together. I still believe that we are different. We're meant to be in each others lives. And I am so sorry I fucked that up.  If I could call you or contact you in any way, I would. And I would apologize a million times over. I know actions speak louder than words and it'd take a lot of time for you to forgive me for the things I've said and done (I have stepped so far out of line so many times..I let my temper get the best of me). Anything at all. I'm on my knees. But I guess I really am trying to just give you space and time. You're name came up on AIM today. It's taken every ounce of self-control to not message you. But I'm trying.


Yours always,
Lor